Archive for December, 2008

What is wrong with me?

December 12, 2008

Today is December 12th and I have absolutely NO ambition for Christmas.  NONE, ZILCH!  I just, yes that is right, JUST started shopping yesterday.  Usually by now..I’m done.  I’m not feeling it this year.  Also, I do not have 1 single decoration up.  Again usually the day after thanksgiving my house it HOLLY JOLLY!  THis year…it’s nothing.  I do not have it in me.  I’m so not feeling it.  I’m usually excited, eager, and very happy this time of year…hmm but again this year NOTHING.  WTF is my problem?  Am I the only one?  I have NEVER had a year go by where I wasn’t feeling the christmas spirit.  This year it is making up for all of my 32 years of feeling it.  It sucks and I don’t know how to pull myself out of this….



December 4, 2008

It is 3am!!! LUCKY ME…I’ve been wide awake since 2:30…going on day 3….Oh I know you are all Jealous and so wish you were me right now..DOn’t ya??

My Insomnia continues…

December 1, 2008

It’s been a LONG time since I’ve posted.  Since the last post…I got the results of my sleep study.  Two weeks ago, I’m sitting in my office at work and I received a phone call.  It was some guy from a Home Health Care Service.  Now mind you, at this point I hadn’t heard anything from my doctors office regarding the results of my test.  The guy wanted to know what my physical address was because he had a script for me.  I had no clue who he was or what the script was for.  I asked him to clarify, and that he did.  Seriously, this is when the freakout begins.  He told me I had a script for Oxygen and I needed it immediately.  THis is basically all the information he had for me, told me to call my doctor for more info.  So of course, I set up a time for them to deliver the oxygen and called my doctor immediately.  I was told that I had severe hypoxia.  This is basically when my oxygen level in my body drops significantly when I sleep.  The normal range is anywhere between 90-100, and my level was dropping to 50.  I was told to use the oxygen starting immediately.  So of course I spent the rest of the afternoon (yes I was at work) in total freakout mode, searching online for what the hell hypoxia was.  What I was reading was NOT GOOD.  Basically, everything I read, saiid I should be dead or close too it.  Although there are days when I’m so tired, I feel dead and lifeless, I was far from it.  SO whatever, I got the oxygen, and started using it immediately. 

Fast forward a week later.  I have an awaited follow up doctors appointment with the pulminologist.  I have a page full of questions.  Plus a week later using the oxygen, I also have a RAW NOSE.  It HURT so bad!  So I wait over a friggin hour to see the doc.  When he shows up I immediately start asking questions.  He basically tells me to hold up, and clarifies the results.  He doesn’t believe I have hypoxia, as it was a very short period of time when my oxygen level dropped.  He thinks it was a result of the monitor they put on your finger either coming off or not sitting properly on my finger.  Which makes COMPLETE SENSE because the lady at the sleep clinic had to come in at one point and tape the thing on.  SO he told me I could stop using the oxygen, but to not get rid of it yet.  He is going to set up a home test just to rule it out.  So what he thinks my problem is….preoptic leg movements, which is a form of Restless Leg Syndrome.  He said for every hour I “slept”, I woke up 29 times as a result of my legs twitching.  He said if it didn’t wake me up it wouldn’t be a problem.  But they are waking me up.  What is happening is when I’m just getting into the deep sleep, my legs twitch and wake me up, which then causes me to start the sleep process all over again.  Totally makes sense as when I do wake up, I feel like crap and feel like I haven’t slept at all.  So he gave me some prescription to help.

Fast forward to this morning….as you can see it’s 3:54AM!! I went to bed around 11:30pm last night…at 2:45AM, I’m friggin WIDE AWAKE!! DEAR GOD!  The covers on my bed, well are COMPLETELY off my bed.  I look like I had a severe fight with them.  I attempted to go back to sleep but it really was not happening.  I got up around 3am and came out to the couch.  Again, laid there for about 20 minutes, then got so pissed I got up.  I put my coffee on and turned the tv on as well as started up my computer.  I’m exhausted!! But I can’t sleep, no matter what I do I CAN NOT SLEEP!! Dear god it’s going to be a long ass DAY!!